Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
