69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
