i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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