Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
