I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
