i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
