walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
