My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
