Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
