wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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