my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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