yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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