the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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