I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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