Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
