She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
