Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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