okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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