carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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