lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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