It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
