I can text with my tongue
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
