did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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