Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
