how can u be prego again
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
