I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
