Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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