East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
