please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
