Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
