you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
