remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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