Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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