I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
lets start a swedish sibling band together
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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