Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
