Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
