I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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