you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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