this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
