I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
