how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
