Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
