if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
