apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this just has baby written all over it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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