did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
