Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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