Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
