i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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