all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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