I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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