I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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