Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
